The smell of death itself gives us the shivers, even if it is not directly related to us. We cannot attempt to stare at the gate of our local morgue leave alone drive by it with a conscious state of mind. We all experience the death of someone close to us at least once in our life time and at worst more than once. The death of a loved one could make us feel like our world has come to an end and there is nothing really worth living for once they leave us for their maker.
A lot of questions begin to form in our minds, especially for family members who act as care givers and palliative care providers. We begin to wonder what next? What are we suppose to do now that they are gone? Our entire identity became caring for them before they bid their last goodbye and now we are in too deep to know how to surface back up and interact with the ever changing world. We are empty, lost and grieving.
Though everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace we don’t have to stay lost, empty and grieving forever. Below are ways of breaking away from the grief beautifully:
Realize that everyone deals with loss differently and comparing with others to gauge whether you’re overacting or to set an expected expiration date will lead to disappointment. This is a personal journey that you yourself know how it goes, for as they say the wearer of the shoe knows where it pinches the most. So don’t second guess your thoughts, feelings and action and you can just do what you need to do in order to heal.
Be open to talking about it but only when ready. Take your time to go through it and when you are ready you will be able to talk about it in whatever way possible. Be it talking to family, friends, counselor or writing a blog it doesn’t matter. Opening up about death means you’re strong to the point of being honest not only to yourself but to others too. It does not at any point make you weak.
Cherish the moments you shared. The memories of your loved one will not go away. But instead of remembering the times you shared in pain, reminisce back to the days you would have a good laugh on a blue-skied sunny morning after breakfast.
Give yourself time to heal. Don’t rush against an unset time frame because you feel a stage is taking longer than it used to. Take your time to release everything you may be feeling about the grief.
Breaking beautifully won’t be easy but as always take everything as it comes, a day at a time and watch the beauty break through.

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